Heart Attack

Let's revive our old friend.

2008-04-17T18:16:00.002+08:00

Naisip kong kailangan ko ring kumawala sa LJ ko paminsan-minsan at magkaron ng blog na pansariling kawalang-dahilan lang. Yung dahil sa wala ka lang maisulat pero may mga tao paring kumakausap sayo. Masaya yun. Masaya.

Kras niya ang tubero. Nakapagbibigay ng heart attack. :]

rant

2007-09-11T17:16:00.001+08:00

bakit naman nila sinuspend yung account ng nag-uupload ng ysabella sa youtube?!?! grrr... badtrip. x]

WIT.

2007-08-11T23:51:00.000+08:00

I can be witty but I never choose to be.

WHY?

I don't even know./

See ya friends on Livejournal. It's where I live now.

Original EMO boy

2007-07-14T23:52:00.000+08:00

Just got home from the cinema -- watched Harry Potter: Order of the Phoenix.

It was good, but not as much as I expected. Everything was good in the first and then everything went so fast, the ending wasn't that much satisfying either. But I'd say I still loved it nonetheless, considering that I just have further proven that SNAPE is indeed, the original emo boy. lmfao.

Plus, Sirius Black is more <3<3<3 (he reminds me of Johnny Depp) and the "Dumbledore's got style" part, i lol'ed to that!
Dumbledore's Army -- Rebellion pwns.
~~Cho and Harry's kissing scene.~~ They should have prioritized other parts of the movie than this.. =(
Dolores Umbridge made me hate the color pink more.
And the cast have grown so much, well... at least compared to me. =))

The fcking aircon in the cinema was a drag -- I was in a hoodie but I was freezing like hell. And yeah, I still haven't studied for the exams, I fell asleep doing it and tolerated it for the whole afternoon. Plus, I colored my nails and dyed my hair back to black. I hate the brown sprouting everywhere, I dyed it over before but it reappeared.

I should be studying. I'm guilty enough for spending the whole saturday doing non-school related things.

PS:I forgot to say that I am now an official RON-HERMIONE shipper. I was just a fan of those two before but after tonight, I'm craving for more.

Things are better if you stay

2007-07-11T15:33:00.000+08:00

This is from

loveangel2141 : (jessika FTW! =D)

1- I'll answer with something random about you.
Your from the Philippines and you make the best graphics ever!

2- I'll dare you to try something.
I dare you to listen to someone who've never listened to. Just download a couple of their songs, just to see if maybe you could get into someone new.

3- I'll say a color I associate with you.
Green, and I have no idea why either lol

4- I'll tell you something I like about you.
I haven't really known you that long, nor have I really gotten to talk to you a whole lot, but from what I have I know that your a very sweet person, and you seem like you would be extremely cool to talk to.

5- I'll tell you something I always remember about you/a first memory about you.
I remember seeing some of your graphics and checking them out, and then being so happy when I saw that you had added me as a friend, because I like being able to pimp out my friends lol

6- I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
I have no idea! I'm going to saw a cat, because for some reason that's the one you remind me most of.

7- I'll ask you something I always wanted to ask you.
Wow. This is going to be so lame, but how old are you? lol

8- If I do this for you, you must put this in your journal

And because of this... i honestly love you now. lol. but yeah, srsly.

I really should be studying right now for our quizzes tomorrow but my LJ needs a new update and I don't wanna end up staring at the shoes under my bed again (they should be placed someplace where i can't see them). I went on INO again and went first place to Ducky's* picture thread. Man, you don't know how much I ~~love~~ that guy. So I ended up saving pictures of him again, not minding even if I already had it saved before.

I'll be making graphics again soon as I get loose from all the hell in school and not to mention that it's exam week next week. crap.

I'll go take some sleep now, I slept at 1am last night and woke up at 5am -- finished some papers for school. Maybe I could get narcolepsy due to too much sleep deprivation. I love to sleep. But sleep doesn't love me back. Now me is sad.

*Ducky is a pet name. An amazing duck he is.

"Did I tell you that I love you?
Oh yeah, I've said it a million times.

.....only that you never hear it."

Circus

2007-07-09T17:51:00.000+08:00

"You make me laugh. Because your face is funny.
And you're starting to annoy me."

Blah. The day didn't start very well. I didn't have a semi-log paper for PHBS. buti nalang naawa si sir at next meeting na lang ipapasa ang assignment...
anyways, mukha siyang DI kanina, o__O open buttons, flipped polo. Heaven help us.

Ethics. As usual. Pero di ako nagrecite kanina. ~~Tinatamad talaga ako.~~

Walang HospiPhar. Pero nag-orientation {?} si ma'am jovie (guidance counselor). May Miracle Workers activity chorva at shapes.

6 Miracle Workers that I would mostly choose:
1. One that would make me do many creative and original things.
2. Money for basic needs. -- Obviously.
3. Do much to help others and make world a better place. -- srsly. I bitch sometimes but I do still care about a lot of things.
4. Having time to do all the things I wanna do. -- Who wouldn't want this?!?
5. Being able to use skills, abilities and talents.
6. To enjoy and appreciate the beauty in things. -- aesthetic values pwns.

Least 6 that I'd choose:
1. High degree of social status. -- I'm not a very sociable person so I don't need this.
2. Fairly definite routines in work and personal life. -- BOOOOOORING.
3. To live an orderly and predictable life. -- no fun.
4. Provided opportunities for Physical activities. -- blah. >.< sports.
5. Great deal of change. -- me hard to leave comfort zone. *fetal-position*
6. Ample opportunities to compete with others. -- I hate competitions.

Ms. Jovie said that our choices would reflect our priorities in life. Fairly true to me. There was a choice to have the intellectual capacity, I didn't chose it. I just didn't.

PhyPhar Lab. Parang CAT ang dating. Matapang ang prof at sadyang nakaka-distract ang lahat sa kanya kaya di ka makakapag-concentrate at mababadtrip ka lang sa mga demands niya. Iinit ang ulo mo tulad ko... lalo na kung wala kayong plastic envelope para sa written reports. Ma-drama sa lab niya. amp. amp. amp.

Bukas maraming quiz at di pa ako nag-aaral. Mahaba ang assignment at magtutuor pa ako.

Pero masaya.
masaya.
hindi na iiyak pa.

Random wishlist.

2007-07-05T22:13:00.000+08:00

Random wishlist:
1. Life on the murder scene DVD. guilty pleasure.
2. Cutesy Animals And Crossbones Web Belt
3. Army Green Black Skull Messenger Bag
4. Glow-In-The-Dark Skeleton Backpack
5. MyChem Pen
6. FOB Pen
7. HP Binder
8. Stellar Green Grind Semi-Permanent Hair Color
9. Fishbowl Black Snap-Button Pocket Tunic
10. The Nightmare Before Christmas Jack Magic Gloves

Thank You

2007-07-02T18:58:00.000+08:00

I'm glad you did it. I know you did the right thing and I hope you're happy.

I'm happy. Thank you. =]

Cars

2007-07-01T11:53:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the words that ~~normally~~ comes out of my mouth lately, might reconsider about drinking holy water to cleanse my language misuse.

So, I changed my layout again. Can I be more vain about it? I constantly make layouts for my sole blog that I rarely post into, no matter how I try update once in a while I just can't find the right words to type or the things happening to me are just too intense to spat it in here.

I just live a very chaotic life. Apathetic me even bothered to think why am I worthy of such deranged drama and why am I emotionally affected. I seriously need a new, better life. So help me find one.

We watched TRANSFORMERS last night, holyshizznits! lmfao. I wish I was in Shia's place. I'd kill to have those autobots. I officially now change my mind about my dream car...

Tie for Chevy Camaro or a Pontiac Solstice. Pero syempre pangarap ko lang yun.

Movie time is the only time I get a break from my f***in life. And how is that, using the same word in two posts straight. I might even set a world record. Bless my soul.

/Friday.

2007-06-29T21:43:00.001+08:00

Really. Thank God it's finally friday.

Amen to that.

._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._.

I was suppose to have my ear pierced today but the people who were suppose to go with me, got f**ked out of their schedules and i'm having an unexpected headache. craptastic. I'll just do it tomorrow then, before I get freaked out by needles again. >.<

I'll have tutoring to do tomorrow, sheesh. my 'oh-so-not-part-time' job will start tomorrow.

cheers to my hungry + gastric fluid-flooded stomach.

Deadly

2007-06-24T14:38:00.000+08:00

~~f*ck~~ my cough.

Yesterday was my aunt's birthday { Belated ante! } so my nephew came with his mom & dad (his dad is my cousin). I &hearts; my nephew but hell no I can't play with him because of my stupid cough and cold. I was literally holding my breath when I get close to him so to avoid transmitting my viruses to the vulnerable baby.

I have been taking my medicines and God knows how my system tolerates it that it doesn't even seem to have an effect and now it even become worse. Coughing all day, drinking water every 5 seconds just to get rid of the itchy feeling in the throat and doing the annoying noise that every person does when they have a cough..

It made me lazy the past two days, better not do it today. I still have heaps of work to do. Dammit. I ate chocolates last night, you can't resist choco-cravings. Never.

Bring the guns out and shove the skeletons in.

2007-06-21T20:49:00.000+08:00

Today was... MEDIOCRE, which I resent so much.
Normal, ordinary days gives me another reason to give a care about things.. that i'd rather not talk about.
Fall Out Boy is blaring from the living room. My younger sister played infinity on high just about 93764798593 times and is close to bursting my bubble.
Good thing our professor finally approved the plant we chose for our research/ experiment, i dunno. He was just being extremely gay about approving every other group that approaches him. lame. I was planning to research today and study for a short exam tomorrow but still I can't do it because I'm on to sniffing Eiffel tower under my nose, on the double!!
I hate being sick. I hate sinusitis. I hate everything at this moment. lol. I pretty much detest a lot, do I?

*insert awful sneeze here*

I better go study and fix my things. I've done much laziness enough for today.

Stick and stones can break your bones but...

2007-06-20T19:29:00.000+08:00

I have been in and out of the sick-phase lately and it clearly drains me off and my entire system. I can't keep myself up and awake at class 7:30 in the morning because of my sinusitis, I feel drowsy and sh*t-crap early in the morning at school. I sneeze every now and then and sniffle my way through a conversation. Boo!
And now I can't concentrate with what I'm doing or suppose-to-be doing due to the persistent throbbing in my temples which annoyed me in the past two hours I've been working on a research. If simple headaches could kill, I would've been long dead by now.

I was utterly amazed when I opened my blogger account and whooop! it's in Filipino-language. o__O Every other thing gets translated, first google and now blogger.

Last night I realized a fact that I was being scared again -- scared of responsibilities, scared of committing myself to something, scared of people, scared of myself and scared of the whole idea that I now exist with a lost cause and have nowhere to go.
In times like this, all I could do is curl myself in the corner and cry the world to myself. I wish I could hug ~~Ducky~~ right now, he's a magic guy. He can make me feel better, even though mostly he's one of the reasons I don't feel better.

"IRONY is sticked on my forehead. You see, it's just above me. And look, there's one on your forehead too."

2007-06-17T21:38:00.000+08:00

I'm CURRENTLY ON A BLOG LEAVE.
Will be BACK soon. :D

black and white. err. light.

2007-06-07T22:00:00.000+08:00

*shrugs* I hate light. Too much light. Makes my eyes burn and pop out of its socket.

Vampire much? No. PHOTOPHOBIA. Bummer.

*******************

My room painting job is over.

Before: apple green all over and messed poster around
After: black and white in stripes

Definitely, bagong tambayan. Pati laptop ko and DSL router nilipat na rin sa room ko, ako nalang kulang {na matulog dun}.

Gusto hingin ni mama ang IPOD ko. Nooooo. Reason? It's 20GB and it's mine.
Sabi niya bibilhan niya nalang daw ako ng bago. Humirit ako ng PSP or Nintendo DS. lol xD.
I dunno. Pag-iisipan ko pa.

meez me!

2007-06-03T12:24:00.000+08:00

my younger siblings made this. haha. agree?
sort of.

gerard way is engaged

2007-06-02T14:33:00.000+08:00

Taken from MTV.co.uk

EXCLUSIVE: Gerard Way reveals he's getting hitched only to MTV2 at the Rock Am Ring festival....

My Chemical Romance singer Gerard Way has exclusively told us that he's getting married.
We spoke to the band at the Rock Am Ring Festival in Germany where they are headlining.
When we asked Gerard about the ring on his finger he said:

"The truth of the matter is that I’m engaged and I’m really excited about it."

Bob from My Chemical Romance had first tried to cover up the engaement telling us: "That’s for me, it’s our friendship ring!"
We wonder if the frontman will have a white wedding or just a Black Parade!

******

Right to point Gerard, that's the way to do it. =) The truth is, i'm actually very happy for him. Except when the thoughts of him marrying Eliza is injected into me, i usually just sigh or shrug. There is just something I we don't like about her.

"basta di ko lang siya feel..."

But heck, our beloved Gee is engaged and soon enough, he'll be married. The ring issue will finally be ended and people's lives will get back to normal {referring to those who are overly concern about the personal lives of the band}, I have to admit that i also was exaggeratedly affected about it but I eventually shrugged the matter and lived my own f*cking life.

"AND IT FELT SO MUCH BETTER."

EDIT: and oh btw, NEW LAYOUT FTW! very much proud of it!

i'm back!!

2007-05-31T22:42:00.000+08:00

matagal akong di nagppost dahil sa nagbusy-busyhan ako.

#1 Room makeover ang drama. (will post pics soon!)
#2 Nilakad ko ang scholarship. Thank God 1.75 ang average ko, exacto.
#3 Enrollment kanina. For the first time, hindi matagal ang enrollment. =]
#4 Nagpa-trim ako at parang tulad na ng dati ulit ang buhok ko.
#5 Isang matinding general cleaning ang dadating.
#6 TEENAGERS is out!!! at bati na kami (in my own world) ni dadi gee. haha. frank is my princess mom. (~~,)
#7 balik icon making ulit ako at masaya. masayang-masaya.
# nagswimming pala kami... after 2 years. honestly.

for real.

2007-05-24T16:01:00.000+08:00

The words just came out of my mouth...

it's the irony of LOVE.

i used to remember how i keep telling people that you can't really love someone if you haven't met them and know exactly who they are -- but i guess i can't tell myself that or maybe i had but never worked out.

i remember that when i was in 2nd year highschool, i had a good friend and i don't know if it's for real that she had a friend named RETSUKI. And for real, i loved retsuki even though I only knew him from her descriptions and from what she tells me about him in an everyday basis. it might be that kind of childish love but it was for real. i even kept the necklace that she said that he wanted it to be given to me for long but it's not with me anymore today because it was stolen.

retsuki might've been an imaginary person 'coz he's almost perfect but hell if he's real or not, he did taught me how to love, somehow.

so would i take my words back? that you can't really love someone if you haven't met them
and know exactly who they are.

who would know. maybe. but not for now.

****

sorry for cheesy-ness. i just saw pictures of ducky and now feeling better. visual bribes always works for me. anyways, i visited my multiply and just found out that jessika tagged me. and i found it late, so lame of me. but anyways, i'll do it later. they're killing me for having late lunch (at 4pm) again! *runs*

pirates and engagements

2007-05-24T00:22:00.000+08:00

Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End was bloody hell awesome. and now i should say that --

I WANNA MARRY JACK SPARROW!!

lol. xD. all caps and in large letters pa! waha, geez. should i say jack sparrow slash Johnny Depp is dayum hawt. teehee. plus the story was ~~good~~ great!!

as much as i want to indulge more on the details and the good stuffs, that i won't do. i'm not a SPOILER. period.

******

why is there a part 2 of my post? ~~now that's where the rumored engagement part comes in. someone's engaged and i don't wanna talk about it because as lame as it sounds, it does hurt ~~a bit~~ or a lot (whichever comes first)~~ capice?

EDIT: whether it's a rumor or not. it isn't funny at all. but heck, be happy.

"if you love someone, you'd give everything to make them happy.
and if they would be HAPPIER with another, that's the hardest part you have to give."

i reached 1000!!

2007-05-22T19:34:00.000+08:00

it's really irrelevant but heck, i just wanna shout to the world that my mcr photo folder have reached a whooping 1090 pics! it's not really something to be proud of but i still love the whole idea~ lol. xD! i'm going for 2000! haha.

well, moving on.

last night was a stressful one. i almost cried my lungs out and was close to having a heart seizure.
i don't wanna indulge on the details of what happened. all summed up, i just talked a lot last night and was into a lot of pain, emotionally but i'm glad it's over and probably i could sleep well tonight.

and now, i'm having urges to change my layout header again. *runs to photoshop*

tag! i'm it!

2007-05-22T17:46:00.000+08:00

4 jobs i've had
--> daughter
--> sister
--> typist
--> tutor

4 movies i've watched over and over
--> notting hill
--> white chicks
--> spongebob squarepants the movie
--> kung fu hustle

4 places i've lived in
--> manila
--> cebu
--> bohol (?) stayed, not lived in.
--> dapitan (?)

4 TV SHOWS/STATIONS I LIKE TO WATCH:
--> NGC & discovery
--> ETC, jack & 2nd avenue
--> mTV
--> star movies

4 PLACES I’VE BEEN ON VACATION:
--> cebu
--> bohol
--> dipolog
--> tagaytay

4 of my favorite food:
--> chocoloates
--> candies
--> pasta
--> ice cream

4 PLACES I’D RATHER BE AT RIGHT NOW:
--> new jersey ~~,)
--> france
--> japan
--> hongkong

4 PEOPLE WHO WILL (hopefully) RESPOND TO THIS GAME:
--> nix
--> aki
--> charms
--> glenna

abercrombie boys

2007-05-19T00:18:00.000+08:00

teehee. abercrombie boys! gay guys xD! wahahaha! i <3 the snapshots.

too much caffeine is bad. very bad.

2007-05-16T21:11:00.001+08:00

i'm guilty of overdoing caffeine again. it's officially caffeinism (it's what you call caffeine-dependence or caffeine OD). for today i have taken 1L of coke and how much mg of caffeine does it have? i don't even wanna know.

Some of the most common short-term effects of drinking caffeine are:

increased alertness (caffeine is a mild stimulant)
makes your heart beat faster
raises your body temperature

Long term effects:

Excess caffeine can increase the risk of osteoporosis and fractures.
Two cans of cola drinks can cause anxiety and reduces the ability to sleep.

That would explain my regular insomnia days, muscular pains & too much anxiety. But that doesn't explain my drowsiness then i'll go all hyperactive. I really should ~~stop drinking~~ drink less caffeinated drinks. it's hard to stop. i tried to do it several times and it only lasted for a week 'coz i just can't resist cola and coffee T___T i feel awfully sad for myself. God help me.

My Webshrine!

2007-05-16T18:07:00.001+08:00

click to visit!!

Blogthings for the midnight.

2007-05-15T23:44:00.000+08:00

Your Pimp Name Is...

Silky Love

What's Your Pimp Name?

wahahaha. WTF?! ooooh yeah, pimp it up silky love. rawr.

You Are Amy Lee!

Gothy, expressive, woman-in-pain
Who looks damn good in a corset
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears"

Who's Your Inner Rock Chick?

Amy Lee!! *dies* pwnage!

Your Drag Queen Name Is:

Helena Handbasket

Drag Queen Name Generator

:lmfao: i'll get to be Helena... only if i'll be a drag queen!

Dance Floor Anthem

2007-05-15T22:18:00.000+08:00

Everybody
Put up your hands Say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”
Feel the beat now
If you’ve got nothing left say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”
Back it up now
You’ve got a reason to live say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”
Feeling good now
Don’t be afraid to get down say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”

This is my current lovelife song, Dance floor anthem by Good Charlotte.
Why? simple. "...I don't wanna be in love."

fanfictions

2007-05-15T21:20:00.000+08:00

i decided i'll post some of my fanfictions here. just because.

i recently found one of my early works. it was actually good so i decided to edit it and continue the story. maybe i'll post it here too. ^___^ above all, i'm just pretty keen about writing fanfics again. only now i have matured more (after stumbling on some ~~pornfics~~, which wasn't really bad.)

and am i still cheesy in writing my fanfictions? the answer is YES. i can't lose that hopeless romantic character i portrait in my stories. and heck, i made my first secks-related chapter. it kept me all night just to figure out what are the right words to write. i guess i pulled it up good. teehee. Ray Toro was hawt in it. xD.

it will rain.

2007-05-11T23:09:00.000+08:00

I don't like it when people push other people around. Shouting at you, pointing, blaming you for things you didn't even imagine of doing. I hate mature people who are old enough but still don't understand. you're given too much pressure, more than you could handle. And the sad part is, they insist they know you but the truth is they don't.

Today was a total stress. Like ~~fucking~~ stressful and depressing. 'Nuf said. Pardon for the word.

One shot: LOVE LETTERS

2007-05-09T17:53:00.000+08:00

“I told you we should have taken that other room!!” she screamed at him.

“How am I suppose to know if this room had a single bed or not?!” Gerard answered back.

“I don’t care!! I’m sleeping on the bed!!” Abby said and pushed him out of the way.

“Not fair! You asked me a favor to drive you to your sister’s house far away from ours, then you talked a lot that’s why we have to drive back home late and we ended up sleeping in a hotel! This is actually all your fault, so you shouldn’t complain.” He said jokingly and hit her with a pillow.

There was a moment of silence. Abby left for the bathroom immediately and locked the door. He didn’t worry. Gerard & Abby are best friends yet they fight a lot. He wins, she cries. But despite all these, they really do care for each other. And they were always a lot like this, Abby and He.

He was on changing to his pj’s when he heard the door open. She was a bit surprised when she saw Gerard standing there, without his top and only in his pajamas. It’s a worthy sight, she thought.

“Pervert!” she blurted out.

“Yeah, I saw the way you stared at me & you’ve almost consumed all of me.” he gave away a sly look.

“Yeah, you wish.” She said and went to the bed.

Gerard didn’t further argue. He had to admit that he’s secretly in love with her, he teases but he still gives away.

“Hey, are you still awake?” he asked. No one answered.

Gerard went close to the bed and saw her sleeping. Seeing her like this makes his heart melt. He came closer to her face, close to kissing her when she suddenly shifted, making her lips softly touched against his. They stayed that way for a few seconds that felt like forever to him.

“Abs?” he asked slightly waking her up.

"Yeah?"

"Can I borrow a pillow?"

“Ok…” she said and went back to sleep.

He slept sitting on the floor beside the bed. He didn’t bother. Being beside her makes him all happy inside.

He woke up early and went out to get some breakfast.

“Wake up sleepyhead!!” he said to her while pulling her foot.

“Get lost Arthur! I still wanna sleep!!”

“What if I read this letter I saw outside the door this morning? It’s addressed to you.”
She hurriedly stood up and grabbed the letter from him. She opened it and something written in it made her smile.

“A love letter again?” Gerard said.

“Yeah. So? Are you jealous? You really should be. You don’t know how to write such things that’s why you don’t have a girlfriend.” She said. She says this kind of things to him but if it hurts him, it hurts her more.

They’ve been friends since college and they’ve been through anything they could think of except falling in love into each other. She thought it was the worst thing to happen so she just keeps it to herself.

“Correction, I had a girlfriend. I just broke up with her. She drinks like a madman.” She burst in laughter and he joined her. He smiled at her, seeing her laughing her heart out, he made her day once again. Gerard, the master love letter writer, you’ve done it again. He said to himself.

“I really think we’d better be going. Mom called and she said we can have dinner at home.”

“Great! Can I sleep over?” he asked. “No way.” she answered.

Gerard had that disappointed look on his face.

“You don’t understand. You can’t sleep anymore in the house. We’re having problems around.” she explains.

“What problem?”

“Not much. Just rat problems. We’re fixing it soon.”

“What?!? You have rats in your house? Maybe all of them came from your room, because you just leave your clothes around so the rats feast on them.” He said teasing.

“Yeah sure…” she said quietly, faking a smile.

He felt that something was wrong with her, but he was too afraid to ask. He heard she had a sickness, a sickness so bad that it could take over her anytime. Gerard was scared. Scared of loosing her.

The dinner was cancelled. She fainted at the moment they reached her place. He wasn’t able to go home, he was told by her parents to go home and rest but he was more than restless. Now he was worrying like hell. He started to write his letters in agony, he wrote and wrote until the papers piled around him. He wrote everything, anything he could think of. He was running out of words and fighting with his urge to cry. Until he finally broke down into tears…

No matter how long, I will always be here, loving you… I promise.
I love you.
~ Gerard

He finally decided to sign his letter with his name. He crept outside towards her mailbox and slipped all the letters inside.

It was already morning when he woke up. He dashed to her house and into her room. Abby’s parents were crying. He found himself again staring at her in her sleep, only that she won’t wake up anymore. Gerard struggled with the pain in his heart, he was all crushed inside. He didn’t have the chance to tell her everything he wants to tell.

“…she had leukemia Gerard.” Abby’s mom spoke.

“Why didn’t she tell me?” Gerard asked holding back his tears.

“She didn’t want to let you know, she doesn’t want you to be sad for her. The doctor gave her a week. She went to her sister to say goodbye. We wanted to bring her there but she asked us if we could let her be with you for the last time...”

His mouth was too dry to say anything. He leaned over her and kissed her as the tears rolled down his cheeks. Gerard got up and saw an envelope on her bedside table, it was addressed to him. He opened it and read the mail...

I guess I made you worried when I fainted, I’m sorry. Mom said you’ve waited outside since. I tried my best to stay awake to watch over you. You were always the one watching over me. Gee, thanks for all the letters. I saw you putting a lot of them a while ago. I just didn’t have the courage to confront you, but I will, somehow. You’ve filled my heart with the most wonderful words and thoughts and I’m guilty for not giving them back. I love you Gerard. It was just too hard for words to come out coz’ we’re best friends and not lovers. But wherever am I by this time you’ve read this, your love letters are kept in my heart. I will read them all again and again until we meet. Farewell. I love you Gerard. Forever, I promise.
~ Abby

random-niscity

2007-05-09T16:58:00.000+08:00

squeeeee!!~ it's NCIS on C/S channel. *gets hyper & runs around*
Tony, McGee, Ducky and Gibbs are my boys. mine! teehee! :))
but then i don't like this episode that much because gibbs flirted with a redhead. nuh-uh. not nice, gibbs.
And Abby sciuto will always be my own 'powergoth girl'. i probably would die just to be like her. a smart, happy, gothic forensic scientist.

i tried convincing my aunt again to let me have my ear pierced. BUT NO, she didn't give in.
she said i would still have to wait until graduation to have a piercing. gah. nonsense. i ~~hate~~ this kind of craptalk. "why on earth can't i have a piercing?!?! sheesh... it's not like i'm going to get a tat."
Speaking of tattoos, i'd love to have one but i'm scared of large needles. *shrugs* maybe a henna tat would do, a spider web one or a pentacle. that would be wicked awesome.

Tony: Boss, what is a 6-letter word for reason to commit a crime?
Gibbs: Dinozzo.

A Baby walrus is worth a million coo. i WOULD LOVE TO HUG A MASSIVE BABY WALRUS.

New Layout

2007-05-09T14:30:00.000+08:00

LOL. i changed my layout again. i don't know why though. maybe i was not just completely satisfied with the previous one. (i just had it for 3 days && it was image heavy)

but i should say that i am pretty impressed with my new layout. i slaved over it last night and early this morning. but i ♥ it! except for the fact that it's pink all over... err... but nonetheless, i find it nice and adorable but twisted at the same time.

and yes... I MADE A FAVICON.

Standing on the wrong floor.

2007-05-07T21:25:00.000+08:00

I’m stupor and a nonsense.

Aki, I’m sorry I wasn't able to save your number because I wasn't thinking again. Now all I have to do is wait for your text so I can text you back. And no, our chat transcript was not on my ym’s archive.

I should say I was ~~happy~~ very happy indeed to chat with you -- a fellow depressed human being that is fully capable of understanding me. Yes, I get very random a lot of times. But above all, I am just a sad piece of rubbish.

God, I missed writing. I’ve been writing since I was 12, I was not close to good or mediocre but I write to my heart's content or until my hands give up. I could write good things, even exceptional things that climbed its way to make me an editor-in-chief of our school’s paper. It made me a one happy soul that hoped it could write until the heart completely spoke itself.
The months, weeks, days, minutes and seconds -- moved so fast that I was utterly left behind and it made me robot, a stupid metal junk. I was, in the past, cheerful I should say but I was less friendly. Or I wasn't really friendly at all.

College didn’t do anything good either. I honestly don’t like the course I’m taking. It was all for the sake of my parents. It hurts me so much how it slaps me in the face – the fact that ever since, all the things I do was for the sake of some people. I couldn’t think of a sole thing I made for the intention of satisfying my heart’s call. Then I am furthered rejected by the people around me for who I really am.

ME – Twisted. Apathetic. Depressed. Introverted. Freak. Psychopath. Alien. Madman. A Killer.

And now, I lack myself a heart. It got fed-up from too much hurting it chose not to hurt nor feel anymore. God knows why am I like this or how did I end up despising myself. I am not even an excuse for an unrhymed twisted lullaby.

Only me knows what I truly want right now – a friend.
A friend that’ll let me be myself and not be some clique’s dress-up Barbie doll that does this-and-that because her adorned friends told her so. I wish I could die right now, get poisoned or get drunk. But the thing is I don’t even drink alcohol. Maybe I could just kiss some cyanide lips and send myself to sleep.

Tear me up and Break me down children of my disheartened sort. Take your black markers and cross me out 'coz you can't turn back swings that i've made and my permanent markers can't be erased. That's why I call it permanent.

"I love the way I kill people in my brains.
It always ends up sweet at their funeral and I get to wear Black."

Graphic / Banner

2007-05-07T16:35:00.000+08:00

I made some banners a while ago which i think went out well. : ]

Peter Parker gone -- what?!?

2007-05-05T20:04:00.000+08:00

lol. i was just amazed how tobey maguire/ peter parker turned emo-looking in spiderman 3.
*he looks good on it btw. except his dancing moments. and ooooh... i ♥ his stare.*

other than that, OMGWTF!!! everyone could just die just because of James Franco's smile. Gawd.
i wuv him! lmao.

The Umbrella Academy

2007-05-05T13:18:00.000+08:00

Today:

i have to wake up early to get copies of TUA.
haha. sa totoo lang naligaw kami papuntang druid's keep. di namin nakita yung place kaya robinson nalang kami pumunta.
kaka-open pa lang ng mall nandun na kami.
isa kami sa mga nagbukas ng comic odyssey. YAY! free comics nga!!
TUA = sweet love.
lol sa characters && descriptions. "...special love dating."
Goodness. Am i not so terribly happy.

so sick

2007-05-01T12:44:00.000+08:00

patrick stump singing 'so sick'. *fangirl mode*

i am mischievous today.

o____O

2007-05-01T00:04:00.000+08:00

gah. i need to get a job.

Voodoo Girl

2007-04-30T23:24:00.000+08:00

Her skin is white cloth,
and she's all sewn apart
and she has many colored pins
sticking out of her heart.

She has many different zombies
who are deeply in her trance.
She even has a zombie
who was originally from France.

But she knows she has a curse on her,
a curse she cannot win.
For if someone gets
too close to her,

the pins stick farther in.

~ Tim Burton

dejavu all over again

2007-04-28T20:03:00.000+08:00

those words hit me like a bullet, right through the heart.

something so beautiful is not that just easy to forget or let go either even though it isn't mine.

i'm happy for you whatever the case may be.

i'm lying like hell. it doesn't matter, nobody cares that much. crap.

sorry i'm like this on my first post now that i am officially semi-adult. being 19 doesn't make that much difference.

rib accident

2007-04-23T14:33:00.000+08:00

he got his rib broken && the thought of it makes me cringe inside (in sadness).
Get well soon. xoxo.

an early present

2007-04-17T00:00:00.000+08:00

wow. i really do feel that since yesterday, it was my birthday. now it makes me care less about the real day itself because i'll be on to watching 10 new episodes of NCIS in youtube.
*yes, i'm so excited it gave me indigestion*

other than that, i've watched video interviews of MarkHarmon, MCR, NCIScasts & CoteDePablo. It made me very very HAPPY. : ] and i had a lot of caffeine today. makes me more happy.

and look, it's already 12 past midnight and i'm still awake slaving over youtube.
and i dont even care.
im loving bullets lately.
patrick stump is adorable and cuddly and i like him.
Gee: 30's not that old. It's.....20's.
Frank: yeah, for trees.
"amy fell in love with a gay." *insert me gasping noises here*
"amy and i get married." ----> you're dead mcgee.
"landon, i really love her. it just took me a while to figure it out."
cover story && mcabby is xD<3.
McGee gets hardcore rejection. poor special agent mcgregor.
Abby being Amy is like Amy Lee that && Abby Sciuto in one.
"they are just wrong for each other."

yes, NCIS is teh love.

2007-04-15T18:08:00.000+08:00

OMG!@*&^# i'm gonna die again just after recovering from my two previous deaths.
~ack! gibbs' killer smile! *dies again*
yeah, i'm posting in portions but i don't care, it's my blog anyway. i'm grinning like hell right now because of the things i saw & am seeing. keesh. these things make me happy. it feels like it's my birthday. lmao.

i'm sleepy and my eyes hurt but i'm still slaving over NCIS at youtube. (thank God for youtube)
ziva looks great with her emphasized curls.
tim got skinny, still with his gold hair (that now reminds me ofsomeone) yet he still looks great.
abby's still my super favorite cast. forensics is still the magic.
gibbs is unusually irritated + he is wearing a hoodie. i think he got himself a new ~~wife~~ girlfriend (grrrr...) lol.
mark harmon's laugh is to die for. dayum.
pauley has 9-10 tattoos. err... i'm scared of big, painful needles.
i now wonder how the backslap feels...it guess it would be alright as long as its gibbs doing it.
special agent paula cassidy died. =(

Gibbs' rules

2007-04-15T17:10:00.000+08:00

Rule #1: Never let suspects stay together.

Rule #1: Never screw over your partner.

Rule #2: Always wear gloves at a crime scene.

Rule #3: Don't believe what you're told. Double check.

Rule #3: Never be unreachable.

Rule #4: If you have a secret, the best thing is to keep it to yourself. The second-best is to tell one other person if you must. There is no third-best.

Rule #7: Always be specific when you lie.

Rule #8: Never take anything for granted.

Rule #9: Never go anywhere without a knife.

Rule #12: Never date a coworker.

Rule #18: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.

Rule #22: Never, ever bother Gibbs in interrogation.

Rule #23: Never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live.

Another one of Gibbs's rules which is used more often than the others, but without a number, is "Never say you're sorry, it's a sign of weakness."

PS: i think i'm really gonna die right now due to too much happiness and gerardisms and NCIS and and and... *dies* 2 lives down for today, how much more left?

killer

2007-04-15T16:12:00.000+08:00

can someone actually die just because of a picture? i think i'm gonna be the first. *dies*
boys faces: PRICELESS.

vacation

2007-04-02T19:15:00.000+08:00

So far, this vacation is going well.

But i'm getting cranky when i miss our house. darn. I miss my DSL connection and my room and everything. (x__X)

7 more days and it will be gee's 30th birthday. gawd he's getting old. but we still love him anyway. <<3

... and yes, i'm getting old in a matter of weeks. i'm gonna be 19 soon. ack! it was just like yesterday when i celebrated my 18th birthday. as much as i want to watch them live, it's far from possible. ='(

i'll be launching my fanlisting in a couple of days, just in time for his birthday. *party!* i'm still managing to make the rules, make the codes and find a good script and someone who will host my site.

oh very well... gifts for my birthday okay? lol.

PS: my blog looks like crap when i viewed it in IE. darn. i'll fix this soon.

98379623494 lives left.

2007-03-29T17:15:00.000+08:00

yep. i was gone because i was sick with a viral infection, was with a fever for 5 days straight and was on a dengue watch. o___O but heck, TG i'm doing okay now.

braindead

2007-03-20T15:18:00.000+08:00

now i'm braindead, after writing and editing all that research paper stuffs. i feel like my braincells are all crenated and dry. i wish i could still study four chapters for phardosage lec tomorrow. every chapter in that book takes forever to read!!! (x__X)

Biatchfit

2007-03-20T14:09:00.000+08:00

Damn. F -word.
I hate ~~fucking~~ research papers.
I hate people who act good and innocent though they are pure plain evil.
I hate people who tells you that they did it but then make excuses because they didn't do what they are suppose to do.
I hate people who abuse you just because you're being nice to them.
Gawd. I loathe ~~her~~ 'em all!!
*goes to corner and sulks*

day 1

2007-03-19T16:20:00.000+08:00

finals day 1 is done. MCR-PRS lec is "what the F minus!?!" kinda thing. i purely guessed 50% of that exam. o___O

it's official, i'm dead. tomorrow will be Biochem Lec exam. let's just pray for this kid's poor soul.

earlier than expected.

2007-03-16T23:01:00.000+08:00

*drumrolls please*
tadah! a new layout! yeah, i made it last night and today. so instead of studying and doing our research paper, i'm slaving over the coding of this new layout. but i guess it paid off well.

i pwnd the layout. ~~i love gerard&&geegasms.~~ ~XD to everything about it.

*i'm too sleepy already that it took me forever to type this post*

randomness i made:

hiatus forever?... NOT!

2007-03-12T20:03:00.000+08:00

lets just say i miss writing in my blog an awful lot. it was like two loooooong weeks of hiatus... gawd. i have to tell you, school is terribly like hell now. i only get 3hours of sleep everyday and that's maximum! prefinals and finals week is not-so-good-at-all --- it's EVIL in disguise. oh yeah whatever.
I'M OFFICIALLY ON HIATUS AGAIN!!!
well see ya all on march 23. i swear i'll make a new layout and ~~lots~~ tons of avas! i'm off to study (again.) and slave over our semi-thesis paper that gives us chronic indigestion and poison.

*logs off and drinks lysol in can*

o___O

2007-03-03T09:04:00.000+08:00

i am not able to update in the past week 'coz of loaded schoolworks. gawd. it's like hell study week. our pre-thesis slash research papers are on its cramming state. defense day is like an arms away. finals week will be so soon and prefinal exams are lurking around. omigosh... let's just hope this school year would end smooth... and fast!

EDIT: i'm being cranky because i need to have an average of 1.75 to still get that scholarship. man, i need that ~~badly~~.

Friday

2007-02-24T00:12:00.000+08:00

First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY kuya!! *i can't wait to spend insomniac nights with you. And no, you can't see porn until your 18. haha.* lmaooooo.
Belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY to MAFFY and to GOODLORD!!
and... okay, done with my crap greetings.

Off to our daily life happenings.

I thank God for fridays. Heck yeah. You would understand what i mean if you have a 7am to 7 pm classes on a friday. Friday is suppose to be a weekend but we are slaving away in school and failing in our quizzes. But today was such a ~~FUN~~ no, HAPPY day.

CHAPTER 1: Bakla Power

angeli: bishie... bishie... *tries to point the 美少年 behind us*
me: huh? she?
angeli: bishie...
me: *quickly turns around and was shocked due to what i saw*

WHAT DID I SAW?
A. a P1000 peso bill
B. SUPER DUPER WAFU GUY!!
C. biochemistry book
...and the answer is B.

There he was, walking with some good-looking guys too. But he was distinctly different: all black get-up from his shoes, pants, polo shirt, coat and sunglasses. Gawd, he's hawt. He turned my our teenage raging hormones on alert level. LOL. He was almost... perfect. Definition of a head-turner. sheesh. Nabakla kaming lahat sa kanya... and all the girls that he passed by had their eyes glued on him, including us. Hinabol pa nila me-ann sa carpark at muntik naman daw akong sumama. Good thing i didn't. Si tina ay tuluyan nang nabakla at nagakaroon ng "bakla power".

me: "let's kidnap him, ~~tie him and harass him~~ and put him in my car."

EDIT: And what did i said the moment i saw him? It was... "OMIGOSH! Kamukha ni Brendon! *shriek* Brendon Urie!!

CHAPTER 2: Kilabot ng Barista

After our biostatistics online quiz (which i failed, i only got 10/20. well, majority of us failed) we decided to give ourselves a treat and went to san lazaro to have starbucks. i was in my "i want this and that" state by that time, trying to decide between brownies or choco frappe. I ended up with the choco frappe. Hehe. We had laughtrip moments with the baristas, may question and answer portion ako.

1: anong name nung bear mo?
me: huh? ah, eto? *points to my brokenhearted bear*
1: yup.
me: ah wala po siyang name eh.
1: ah, kala ko kasi bigay ng boyfriend mo para maalala mo siya lagi.
me: *paints disgust look on my face* huh?!? hindi ah. wala nga akong bf eh! *sabay kuha ng sukli at alis sa counter* okay, that was weird.

maffy got a heart written together with her name on her frappe. teehee.
Si maffy at si me-ann ~ ang kilabot ng barista. lmao.

EDIT: the date is 24 and the time is 12:12. talking about favorite numbers.

oh i will.

2007-02-18T21:33:00.000+08:00

i haven't been updating lately. it's busy crap again. but i will, no matter what post tomorrow.

what will happen when girls fight over boys?

2007-02-16T22:10:00.000+08:00

actually... i have no idea. why am i asking this? no idea either. maybe i would tell something about it... just when i think it's alright to do so.

EDIT: belated happy hearts' day everyone!

and i just wanna say... brendon & ryro... keep teh' shizzlin. you guys always give me sweats. lol. o_O same with you frerard. *winks*

lmao.

2007-02-13T20:46:00.001+08:00

Which My Chemical Romance member would you marry? by ViciousPixie6

Name

Age

Favorite Color

Favorite MCR song

You would marry

Gerard (Lead singer, hot as hell~!)

When you 'd get married

2010

Where you'd get married

On stage during MCR's biggest concert of the year. You wear the same dress that was worn by "Helena" in the Helena music video. You even have the black ballet slippers.

Type of house you'd live in

The biggest house that you could find in New Jersey.

How long it would last

Until he dies, men have a shorter life expectancy.

How much you'd love each other

79%

what's there so much about valentines?

2007-02-12T18:42:00.001+08:00

yeah. they say valentine's day is just around the corner. ~~so what?~~
people keep blabbering topics about love and that sucks because i really don't have anything to talk about it. my LOVELIFE is LITERALLY DEAD. that is why i hated valentine's, it had never been good or even nice. what is there about love that everybody rants about?!?! a lot of people have this mindset: love is something that has something to do with your boyfriend/girlfriend. WTFH?!? that is not just what love is all about. but heck, they give a lot of damn about it.

and now i'm listening to some sappy lovesongs in my playlist. and what does that makes me feel? NOTHING. which makes me a total apathetic crap. so why am i ranting like this? ----> simply because... i want to love but i'm scared. i'm hell scared that i might even forgot to make my heart beat. i want to love but maybe it's just not the right time yet; or maybe i just wanna swoon like everybody else; or maybe i just miss myself smiling like crazy when i'm in love or maybe i just wanna get some candies and chocolates this valentines or...

maybe i just dried out of love which made me so thirsty of it.

yes, i don't get sparks anymore. it's only the superficial feelings i just get. poor hopeless romantic me.

i need a hug my fictional romeo. NOW.

EDIT: sorry readers for such immature content. i'm in an emotional-fit right now. please bear with me.

i constantly thank God for shoes and glasses.

2007-02-10T22:52:00.000+08:00

yeah. something ~~someone~~ made me sad today. craploads. i hate valentines.

thank God he made humans so they'd make shoes and glasses... coz' i'll be dying now without it.
thank God for NCIS too.

ryan + brendon = me, retard.

2007-02-10T15:43:00.001+08:00

ain't they sweet? yeah, seeing bishie boys like these together (not to mention, ♥ FRERARD *hails*) gives me all the goosebumps and some... well, thoughts. nuff' to make me a complete retard. teehee.
EDIT: i just found out that ryan is still 20 and brendon is 19. o_O whoa. *dies*

------------------>

pumunta kami ng market2 kanina, nagpapalit ng strings ng guitar. dropped by odyssey to look for fall out boy's new album.. rawr. meron na sila, yung philippines edition na mas mura (P325?) yep. but i'm still thinking about buying it or not coz' i'm still looking for LOTMS album pero mukhang hindi na-release yun dito sa pilipinas. crap. gusto ko rin pala ng P!ATD na album. arrrg.

depression test

2007-02-10T14:51:00.000+08:00

Disorder	Your Score
Major Depression:	Slight-Moderate
Dysthymia:	Slight-Moderate
Bipolar Disorder:	High
Cyclothymia:	Extremely High
Seasonal Affective Disorder:	Moderate
Postpartum Depression:	N/A
Take the Depression Test

ack!~ see how i scored. take note of the bipolar disorder - high and cyclothymia - extremely high. so what exactly is cyclo-whatever?

Cyclothymia

Cyclothymia is a mild form of bipolar disorder. It is characterized by mood fluctuations that shift between depressive and hypomanic phases. Cyclothymics do not experience the extremes of major depression or manic episodes.

The depressive or hypomania symptoms of cyclothymia may last for a few days to several weeks at a time, with brief intervals of normal mood in between. Personality changes are often evident to family and friends. Individuals who have a stable mood for longer than two months at a time are not likely cyclothymic. Symptoms may be mimicked by substance abuse, borderline personality disorder, or other mood disorder. A family history of depressive or bipolar disorders increases the risk.

Symptoms of cyclothymia:

Hypomanic Phase
Excessive confidence and self-esteem
Reduced ability to concentrate, easily distracted
Sleep difficulties, excessive energy
Heightened irritability
Reduced inhibitions, may make foolish decisions

Depressive Phase
Feelings of inadequacy, low self-confidence
Difficulty falling asleep, unrestful sleep
Fatigue, lack of energy
Negative thinking, feelings of guilt and sadness
Loss of interest in formerly enjoyable activities
Depression lasting between several days and several weeks

random title.

2007-02-09T21:08:00.000+08:00

hayyyy!! at last, prelims week is officially over. makakatulog na ako!

grabe, na-miss ko ang aking blog. and see, bagong layout na naman. there really is fun in layout-making kaysa sa mag-aral for prelims. honestly! biruin mo namang nagawa ko ang layout na to sa buong mag-hapon lang, samantalang ang buong maghapon ay kulang sa pag-aaral ng isang subject lang? homaygulayvejtabols.

okie dokie, let's start from the very beginning. *naks. sound of music ang dating.* lmao. sorry, medyo high ang bata ngayon.
o sya...tungkol sa prelims? MAHIRAP!! namaaaaaaan!! pano pa kaya ako babawi niyan?!? pagkatapos kong mabuhayan ng loob dahil #17 na ako sa DL nung last sem, ngayon... i can see dark skies ahead. lol. pero ayos lang, sana kayanin ko sa finals. (o_O) ~~i'm talking about miracles now.~~ nag-internal hemorrhage lang naman ako habang nag-eexam dahil sa sobrang hirap. guilty ako dahil di ako gaanong nagpuyat para mag-aral (dahil narin di kinaya ng katawan ko). oh well, moving on.

valentine's is approaching na naman. darn. mabubuhay na naman ba ang ANTI-VALENTINE'S BRIGADE? ewan. pero for some reasons, feeling kong mag-play cupid sa 14 ha. (yes, that's what loveless people do. hook some people up at pagtripan sila.) ouch. baka ma-karma agad ako. doinks. wag nalang siguro. ~~sayang, ang cute pa man din sana nila pag sila ang nagkatuluyan. amp. kilig loads.~~ ewww. did i say kilig loads? ooooh-kay. that's randomly weird. next topic please!

so, maikwento nga ang tungkol kay crush #1. nakita ko siya 3x this week. pero di ko na siya crush... kaninang umaga ko lang narealize. dami kasing nagkaka-crush sa kanya kaya ayaw ko na sumama sa "flock of girls chasing after him"... shush. selfish ng bruha, ayaw ng may kahati. lmao. hay naku, let's see what will happen na lang.

signing off...*x

EDIT: Gwen Stefani is absolute kawaii-ness. haha! me wubsh the song "sweet escape". btw, i've bought myself a new black ~~blouse~~ shirt and my own eyeliner. sweet.

dropping by...

2007-02-05T19:55:00.000+08:00

it's prelims week and it feels like hell, as always. o_O at tumakas na naman ako para mag-internet! boo me! but at least i passed the biostatistics exam! yay for me then! smell ya later guys!

EDIT: i'm an aunt already. my cousin's girlfriend had given birth to a baby boy. rawr. i wanna see it... NOW! and give it lots of smoochies. O_O boinks. okay, that makes me so randomly weird.

damn, i hate being sick.

2007-01-27T22:16:00.001+08:00

ack. nadale ako ng sipon at nilagnat buong araw. at syempre hindi iyon nakakatuwa... nagtambak ang aaralin, gagawin, ireresearch at kung ano ano pa. worst, hindi ako nakaligo ngayong araw at hindi nakapunta sa debut ni kaille. namaaaaaan! pero thank God, wala na akong lagnat. o_O kahit papano magagawa ko na yung mga dapat kong gawin.

----------------------------------------------->

for some reasons, i ~~hate~~ my father. well, not intensely. whatever the reasons are, i just hate it. his rants are absolutely immature to me. he's talking nonsense. the only things that matters to him is himself and his family (not us family, but his parents + sibling family) sheesh... gawd. how can he be so lame?
i have had issues with him already and it's all his faults, yes, he admitted it. and now, he's the one making all the noise, putting all the blame on me. [he's giving me my own B-F party]
sorry for all these anger rants // i just don't have any other place to throw it. o_O

i HATE all of them.

a not so good day.

2007-01-25T20:50:00.001+08:00

kahit papano ay masaya na ako, pagkatapos ng lahat ng kamalasan ko sa araw na 'to. gawd. masyadong magulo ang buhay buhay college ngayon.

no.1: hindi kami nakapagpasa nung preparation namin ngayon. group work pa yun... namaaaannn!!
no.2: i'm dead sick. [random fact: my colds lasts for 1-2 weeks and it's normal.]
no.3: nagtambak tambak na ang trabaho namin for our pre-thesis research. o_O namumuti na ang mata ko sa pagpapanic.
no.4: badtrip ako sa mga taong walang ginagawa pag experiment... and they take all the good credit. WTFH?!? >.< no.5: i've got myself a cut on the wrist. not intentionally. accidentally. on a stupid jagged edge of a percolator. and now, i look like an emo freakgirl that cuts herself on the wrists and gets emotionally distressed. gawd. i'm depressed but i don't cut myself.... though i have/had thoughts but i'm badly scared of the sharp object you are suppose to use to do it. see? i wouldn't do it.

but at least, nakapanood ako nc NCIS ngayon... at nanonood parin. and it gives me the good spirit. watching it makes me happy. soooo happy. tatapusin ko lang 'tong isang episode and i'm gonna work, i ~~swear.~~ sorry on that. i'm not gonna swear on it again.

-------------------------------------->

somebody's statement made me happy today:
friend: ano yung NCIS? yun ba yung bida gwapo kahit matanda na siya?
me: OMG! oo! siya nga yun!!! *big smile*

see? hindi lang ako ang nagagwapuhan kay gibbs. *grin* gwapo naman talaga siya ah! haha!

a little tribute to my most favorite pair, abby and mcgee.

soree.

2007-01-23T17:55:00.000+08:00

nyay. tumakas na naman ako para lang mag-internet. sheesh... soree. *temptations* awts. okie okie, mag-aaral na po ako. layas na! outta here! *waves*

EDIT: btw, in-add ako ni former yue sa friendster kanina. oh-em-gee... na-miss ko din pala yung taong yun. kahit papano. ;)

xx_me loves NCIS_xx

2007-01-22T18:26:00.000+08:00

for some reason, i've been watching NCIS season 4 in the past three hours. yes, while typing this, i am actually watching. talk about being addicted to it nei? haha. hindi naman masyado... the truth is, this dvd is just what i bought with my moolahs yesterday. o_O toinks. yikes, i'm actually doing a lot of crapola even though i still have to do a lot of things (crapola doesn't include watching NCIS and feasting my eyes on abby + gibbs + mcgee and... HE. heck yeah, i'm actually guilty for doing nothing at all or maybe i'm just nervous because i'm having my tooth out later. i'm happy because it'll be goodbye to toothache but damn heck i'm pretty nervous. NERVOUS. oooohhhh... nervousness galore. o_O amp.

awww... i hearts these two as much as i hearts everything. &hearts
and ABBY is my role model. that's why i wanna be just like her.
reasons for my forensics obsession. &hearts

gawd! help!

2007-01-22T18:08:00.000+08:00

oh please kill me... 'coz i'm actually listening to paris hilton. x_X bang bang! ~ack!! help!

looking for love + etc.

2007-01-20T20:02:00.000+08:00

di ko parin makalimutan yung kwento ni friend#3. isang malaking WOW. note: all caps ang wow.
para kasing masyadong "wtfh!?!" ang magiging reaksyon ko kapag ganun ang narinig ko, buti nalang kalmado pa ako at napangiti na lang. pero in fairness, nakakatuwa ang mga pangyayari sa kanya. crushie na niya itong si classmate na hindi kahit anong tingin mo ay hindi pasado sa kanyang standards. pero heck, crush na crush na niya at nakakakilig ang moment nila ha. at nainggit naman daw ako? no tenk yu.

hindi ko sinasabing mahal niya na si classmate pero yung katotohanan na itong si classmate na hindi niya taste ay siya pa ngayong dahilan ng pagiging pre-occupied niya. o diba sosyal? siguro nga, ang love ay hindi hinahanap. kusa na lang darating. at whether you like or not (the person or the moment), hinding-hindi ka makakalusot. basta mo na lang mararamdaman.

awwww... how sweet. nyay, isa na akong fan ng kanilang lab story.
kelan pa kaya ako maiinlababo?? hay...

------------------------------->

nice. namiss kong magsulat ng post in filipino. at nahirapan ako, sa totoo lang. siguro dahil nasanay lang ako kaka-ingles at dahil para na rin sa mga taong napapadaan sa blog ko na hindi nakakaintindi ng mga pinagsasasabi ko. (yes, mahal ko ang aking mga mambabasa kahit walang kwenta ang blog ko.) medyo napapahaba na ang post ko kaya mamadaliin ko na lang yung iba ko pang sasabihin..

*** sabi ni kuya star (lab technician sa school) na madaldal daw ako at hindi ko kayang tumahimik. akala niya lang yun, maghintay siya at sa thursday ay tatahimik ako.

*** hindi ako nakauwi ng cebu ngayon para sa sinulog dahil may klase. hindi ako sinama ni mama. T_T nalungkot naman ako.

*** kahit papano ay less-depressed na ako. mga 98% na lang akong depressed.

*** nakakabaliw ang photoshop at imageready. 2 gabi akong puyat dahil lang sa kakagawa ko ng avatars/icons at kung ano-ano pa. o_O

*** nagpapanic na ako para sa isusuot sa debut ni kaille. bawal ang black at white at formal ito. gawd. wala akong formal na damit, semi-formal lang. at kamusta naman... black lang ata ang kilala kong option pag bumibili ako ng damit na pang-party. at wala rin akong sapatos. at wala rin akong pera dahil kailangan ko yung pera para sa research/semi-thesis namin. NAMANNNN!!! kawawang bata naman ako. [bakit ba kasi nauso pa ang formal attire?!?]

ayan, so far, nasabi ko naman na ata lahat ng dapat kong sabihin. wish me luck.

EDIT: naalala ko bigla ang usapang boys namin ng 'kada. ... oh how we all love JOHN CENA. &hearts haha. yes, you ~~heard~~ read it right. hindi ko ikinakahiyang mahilig ako manood ng RAW, afterburn at lahat na ng WWE shows. haha. nakakatuwang malaman na nung nagbubuntis ang nanay ko sa akin at sa isa kong kapatid ay paborito niyang panoorin ang WWE... dun niya siguro ako ipinaglihi maliban sa sotanghon. sinong makakalimot kay hulk hogan na dilaw na dilaw at mahilig magpunit ng damit? at kay undertaker na tumitirik ang mata at mahilig ilagay ang nakakalaban niya sa kabaong? at si bret hart na aminado akong crush ko nung bata pa ako.. hay... memories memories.

UY! WWE PALABAS SA TV!! SUGOD!!

mimai blue eyes.

2007-01-19T23:17:00.000+08:00

blue eyes is the <3. don't we all wish we have eyes like those???

EDIT: (o_O)
inaamin kong inaantok na ako... at anong oras pa lang??? soree naman...
6:30-7:00 lang naman ang klase ko.
hindi lang naman ako nangarag sa tatlong quiz,
sa pagkalate namin sa biochem,
sa nakakawindang na nucleic acids,
sa nakakaantok na phar11,
sa nosebleed na biostatistics
at sa nakakangarag na laboratory. hindi naman masyadong nakakapagod.
pero ayos lang dahil natapos ko na ang layout... ang maipagmamalaki kong layout na 2 gabi kong inatupag at dahilan kung bakit di ako nakapag-aral.

pero ayos lang. basta ako masaya. ~~masayang masaya.~~ hindi pa pala, gagawin pa namin yung pre-thesis research namin. amp talaga.

new layout.

2007-01-18T21:45:00.000+08:00

new layout again. too bad hindi ko siya ma-view sa firefox. sheesh...

adobe overload.

2007-01-14T14:44:00.001+08:00

some banners && avatars i made. ...~~most of them~~ all are gee's.

a treat for all gerard way fans out there.^^ yes, we all do love him. but no, he's not single anymore. he's dating a new girl... supposedly (as i have read it). and knowing that broke all our hearts... well, we can be happy for him.

You smell like old people & soap... and I like it.

2007-01-13T22:28:00.000+08:00

What happened today was incredibly... sweet. We went to the missionaries of charity in tayuman to have our institution visit for our NSTP. i have to admit that i was not so positive about it at first when i found out that it was... erm... a home for the aged. simply because i think i don't have the patience to be with them since they can range from being makulit to just plain weird old folks. We spent hours with the lola(s) and have very interesting and touching lives. they say good things, not so good things and nonsense things but heck, they made me wanna cry because you can actually feel that they were deprived from the love and care that they deserve from their family.
I was tired and wasted ( i almost fell asleep on the LRT... again. ); feeding them, putting them to bed and answering to their every demands and every work i've done... it was all worth it.
My share was not fairly enough to suffice their needs but i know that somehow, we made them happy. we somehow gave them love.

EDIT: there was this lola & she was somehow new there. some of the lola(s) told us that she never talks. pero kanina... she was sharing stories with andieli, kat and me.
Nung pauwi na kami, she cried when we bid farewell. that hit me right on the spot. gawd.
i'll miss them. maybe someday i'll go back there and visit them. i do hope they could still remember me.

disenchanted layout.

2007-01-09T12:05:00.000+08:00

finally, a new layout for the new year. i decided to keep it clean and simple this month. it's actually the first layout i made that is so plain yet so meaningful to me. gerard is solely featured on this one [simply because i was inspired of his new year's resolution] and the song disenchanted... my life song as of today. do enjoy my new layout okay? i stayed up all night just to fix that.

EDIT: i was thinking of making layout requests since i was already doing wallpapers and ava reqs. though i would still have to think about it... tweaking layouts is NOT an easy job!

starbuck is PWNED by x_trigger-happy_x! LMAO!
~ack! i'm currently craving for peanut butter crispies and choco frappe. damn guilty pleasures.

EDIT 2: i'm outta here. i need to study for our exams tomorrow. awwww... this is going to be a loooooong day. *sigh*

HELLO SUNSHINE!

2007-01-03T13:05:00.001+08:00

the weather is currently having it's mood swings, and so do i. i have been in a roller coaster of emotions lately, what a good thing to start the year. btw, i'm saying that in my most sarcastic tone. i've been really quiet in the past 3 days... let's just say, i'm not in the mood to talk or maybe i don't know exactly what to say and how to say it. i am absolutely not okay. my life is like a soap opera and my character is the one who hides in the closet and talks to dust fairies about her life. i always had troubles when to comes to self-expression and/ or socializing or whatever that deals with talking and telling people how you feel. I'M LOUSY at such. that was always the dilemma, but i don't mind not doing something about it. not only until you get all used up and you get all weary and in the end, you always end up that depressed patient in a psychiatry clinic. yes, i'm that patient.

i'm now in between my sanity and insanity... or i don't know.
i am always the "i don't know" person.
it's not that i don't care, i just don't know how exactly to care.
i'm so into the details that i forget about the whole picture, so the picture gets all torn into million tiny pieces.
i hate emotional breakdowns... and i don't usually have one. but when i do, it's the kind of breakdown where you get all depressed and you have suicidal thoughts. good thing i don't cut my wrists or do some kind of violence to myself or else i'll be dead

i'm sorry for having the word "I" the most prominent word in this post. i know it's exclusively long for a rant but do forgive me on this. \\\\

i'll EDIT this some other day. crapola. i hate formal reports.

anong petsa na??

2007-01-02T22:02:00.001+08:00

juskow. huling huli na ko bumati... anyways, HAPPY NEW YEAR sa lahat! gusto kong magpost kaso mabagal mag-load ang blogger [f --> blogger] medyo tinamad ako sa aking layout kaya gagawa ako ng bago.

HOMAYGULAY! i'm back to posting in tag-lish. tsk3. pagbigyan nyo ko ngayon lang dahil kailangan ko lang sabihin ang lahat ng pwede kong sabihin.

let me start my year by *glomping* you guys... sa mga kaibigan, sa mga link-ex ko, at sa lahat ng mga naliligaw sa blog ko at nagttiyagang magbasa ng mga post ko. MARAMING SALAMAT! ~~*iyak iyak iyak*~~ ROFL.

sa hairstylist na nag-ayos ng buhok kong buong taon na magulo ~ salamat.
sa tita ko na pinagnenokan ko ng acetone para mabura ang kulay sa aking mga kuko ~ salamat.
sa mga magulang ko na medyo hindi ko kinakausap lately [kung bakit? next time ang kwento.] ~ salamat parin.
sa mga naging inspirasyon ko sa nakaraang taon at yung sa kasalukuyan ~ salamat.
dun sa iba pa... ~ salamat.
kay GOD. wala ng paliwanagan. ~ salamat to the maximum level.

2006-12-31T10:13:00.001+08:00

just to end the year.

1. If you could give just one word for '06 what would it be?
~* depression.

2. What are your favorite memories of '06?
~* marami masyado eh.

3. From 1-10 how would you rate this year?
~* 8 [random.]

4. If you could change one thing about '06 what would it be?
~* i actually don't know.

5. If you could rewind back to one moment in 2006, what would it be?
~* er... i'm still thinking.

FRIENDS:
1. Did you make any new friends?
~* i guess so.

2. Do you think any of your friends have changed?
~* yeah. a lot of things happened.

3. Do you still have the same friends you had in the beginning of the year?
~* yep.

4. Who would you say was your best friend overall this year?
~* youko & tin.

5. Who are your CLOSEST friends?
~* tin, dee, kp, culz, youko, sila-sila.

LIFE:
1. Do you have any regrets for this year?
~* think so. i just can't remember it.

2. Has a lot changed in your life?
~* yeah.

3. Do you think you have changed?
~* sort of.

4. Do you have a New Year’s resolution? What is it?
~* less depression.

RELATIONSHIPS:
1. Have you had any heartbreaks this year?
~* maybe?

2. Did you break any?
~* ilang test tubes sa lab!

IN 2006, HAVE YOU:
[ ] Kissed anyone
[x] Hugged anyone
[ ] Been out of state
[x] Gone on vacation
[ ] Failed a class
[ ] Been camping
[ ]Ridden a roller coaster
[ ] Gone snow boarding
[ ] Played laser tag
[ ] Been out of the country
[x] Laughed so hard it hurt
[ ] Had surgery
[ ] Been to a bonfire
[ ] Made smores
[ ] Went tanning
[x] Made a mistake
[ ] Prank called anyone
[ ]Dyed your hair
[x] Chopped off a lot of your hair
[ ] Broken any bones
[ ] Been in a physical fight
[ ] Played hide and seek
[x] Been to a funeral
[x] Said something to someone you wish you could take back
[ ] Been to the circus
[ ] Shot a gun
[x] Passed out
[x] Played a sport
[x] Been to the hospital
[ ] Been pantsed
[x] Lost your voice
[ ] Gone to the zoo
[x] Gone shopping
[x] Cooked your own food
[ ] played paintball
[ ] Gone mudding
[x] Painted a room
[x] Lost weight
[ ] Gone four wheeling
[ ] Lost someone important to you
[x] Slept for over 12 hours

Resolutions...
Do you want to Lose weight?
~* it's ok. if i don't get to lazy to do it.

Exercise more?
~* guess so.

Get a better job?
~* get better grades at school! yeah!

Go to school/college?
~* already in college.

Quit smoking?
~* i don't smoke.

Quit Drinking?
~* don't drink either.

Have any other resolution? Or No resolution?
~* iisipin ko pa!

Are you going to Get married?
~* haha. asa! in 48 years! lol.

Have a baby?
~* pag si *toot* ang ama, oo! rofl.

Buy a house?
~* i will. someday.

Move out on your own?
~* we all have to, do we?

Graduate from school?
~* yep, in 2009.

See your child graduate
~* if i'll have one.

Any other major things going on?
~* la naman.

And Lastly...
Do you have any hopes for 2007?
~* a LOT!!

What are they?
~* naku. wag na. aabutin tayo ng pasko for next year!

2006-12-30T22:17:00.001+08:00

happy new year!!

i am not so sure if this would be my last post but what the heck. i've made a good update on my fanfic, i'm almost in the middle of the story but i'm planning to make it shorter or i don't know. maybe i'll post the link here someday. *grins* i'm thinking about making a year-ender post but still... me is too lazy to think about things. i've colored my nails black, again. but i didn't cover the whole nail, just a strip of black in the center. = ) i'm loving it! reminds me of someone...

ack!~ nitatamad nako magtype! bukas na lang! night!

si emo boy --> princess! cute-ness! ROFL.

2006-12-28T15:07:00.000+08:00

CRAP LOAD.

yay-ness! i've watched NCIS on star movies earlier. finally! my prayers are answered! i've been waiting for this since summer. but the episode shown is still on season 2 and i have watched ALL the season 2 episodes. o_O the thought of it sucks but i will still watch it anyway just because i hearts NCIS that much.

i haven't been updating my blog lately because... because... i've been busy with the INO message
boards and making picture captions and... scavenging for good photos of them. i'm quite optimistic to start a fansite | philippine-based. and i'm pretty much frustrated with what to do with it. (x_X) this is what i get for being so hooked up.

i was suppose to register today for a voter's i.D. heck, it was cancelled. just right on time because i'm too lazy to go out today. i need to study for our exams when we return to school and i've just lifted a pages of the book, not even digested what i've read. i was suppose to do a report, and what the heck, i still haven't started it. and i need to finish cleaning up my room, but wtf, i don't feel like doing it. oh yeah, thank you my procastinator being!

gawd, i'm a depressed trigger-happy kid. ~* i thought i was pretty normal but i now realized that i'm not very normal at all. i was suicidal when i was in my elementary years, i was close to cutting. well, i did but i guess the blade wasn't so sharp. i would draw myself plans of how to die. i came up with lots of them, hanging, falling down on the roof or on the 2nd floor, and getting an overdose. i love the sight of blood splatters around, stick figures that looks violent, lots of black and red, disembodied drawings of myself, and yes, i do love caskets and vampires and everthing not normal to normal people. i was a loner then but i bully kids, specifically boys, and i was a delinquent once. i make up lies, i disobeyed my parents, i drink sparkling soda thinking and pretending it was alcohol. yet, i get good grades and i don't drink nor smoke. i don't flirt. i don't date. i almost died and not afraid of it. i have a major life change but i'm getting back to my old self again. damn. what's wrong with me?

2006-12-25T20:09:00.000+08:00

zaturnnah en ze gips op lab.

just got home from a very tiring christmas day but heck i had fun + sore maximum all in the same day! =D lol. we watched zsazsa zaturnnah ze moveeh and it was cute! hehe. ada [rustom p.] is like a living barbie doll,^^ very very preeti *glomps*. he(?) wears pink and i like it on him(?) and dodong was hunk-ilicious! harhar! i was really envying over zsazsa & kitkat's wig... because red and purple is soooo yummy! looking at it makes me think of snow cones.

then we went to glorietta for no reason at all. i bought the album {FINALLY!!!!} and considered it as a christmas gift to myself.. well, not really. because the money i spent for it was from my tita and my besprend = so it's like it's their gift to me. duh. yeah, i was so excited to hold that black parade album in my arms baby! lol. and now i don't want any fingerprints other than mine to be on it. <-- freakazoid. i also bought a new shirt from amblvd, a black one with white stripes and a skull on it. it's extremely beloved. i'll be wearing it for the new year, hoping next year my world will all turn into black and white and crimson. i better stop spending or i'll be broke even before the year ends. o_O the horror!

~ the shirt i was talking about + TBP album. ~

we commuted our way home and talked about marriage 'coz my mom's gonna be attending a wedding on the 28th. and it came to me that maybe, just maybe, i do want to marry someday. but only to the person who will understand my idiosyncrasies... i told my her [ma] that if ever, emphasize the IF, i'll get married... it'll be in shades of black, white and crimson. the wedding dress' gonna be in black and dark red roses. i know it would look much like a funeral but i don't care. and yes, the date of the wedding will be on the 31st of october.^^ {it's emo boy's birthday anyway}

peace and love this christmas...

2006-12-25T00:04:00.000+08:00

merry christmas!

i've gots nothing better to say.. just a merry christmas to all! ^__^ have a blessed christmas guys! let's not forget to pray and be thankful for everything we have okay? it's not the same christmas we have this year but we're still fortunate to be able to celebrate it. Thank God.
blessed be to you guys. have fun this holidays!

listening to the songs of your favorite band on christmas eve... sweet.
cheers to us and to everyone we love! xoxo

PS: we saw rustom padilla earlier @ aliw theater. he's in a pink gown portraying ADA from zsazsa zaturnnah ze movie. heck. he looks pretty.
and btw, i'll be buying the black parade album maybe tomorrow. ^^ i can't wait.

~ greetings from trigger-happy [^my hair color here is edited^]
may all your emotions be fully functional this season, stay happy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EDIT: it's officially christmas, the fireworks outside are loud. and i'm still up watching hey arnold episodes at youtube. i wish i could sleep but insomnia strikes. i wish i drink alcohol so that i could drink myself to sleep and just be sober in the morning.. i'm just kidding.

2006-12-23T19:24:00.001+08:00

tired.

i have to do my general cleaning for my room today. ~ack. i'm dead tired and i'm not finished yet. o_O i'm so tired that all i want to do now is to sleep. zzzzzzzz....

presents to be opened tomorrow. one more sleep to go!

merry christmas! ^___^

2006-12-22T22:29:00.001+08:00

christmas party.

our christmas party just ended minutes ago. it was dead tiring. o_O but it was heck fun. ^____^ we had our exchanging of gifts, i was surprised to find out that my mother was the one who picked me, she gave me a shirt and a notebook. i again, ate a lot. you can't resist good food, can you? it's still 1o pm and i'm already sleepy yet i'm hungry, so i'll eat first before heading off to sleep. but of course i won't sleep immediately or i'll have indigestion [which is evil]. some of the pictures i took i uploaded at my multiply site and will upload the other batch tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i wore my punk-look get up today. and i didn't have the time to fix my hair, which surprisingly turned out to be nice.... because there was an angle of me that somehow looked like gerard way [because of the hair] and i had my red + black makeup and a pale looking face. looking at myself makes me wanna hug me. lol.

2006-12-21T23:31:00.000+08:00

yowsers! her heart skipped!

results from a quick kwiz generator: i couldn't figure how to post it here correctly. so i just copied the results. o_O

Who would you date in My Chemical Romance?
Name: 'trigger-happy'
DOB : 'april 24'
Favorite MCR song: 'helena'
You would go out with: Frank [~ack!*faints*]
Who is secretly in love with you: Ray
Who tries to break you two up: Mikey [haha. 3rd party.]
Do they break you two up: TRUE

Name: 'charmaine'
DOB: 'april 24'
Favorite MCR song: 'helena'
You would go out with: Gerard [OMG.]
Who is secretly in love with you: Mikey
Who tries to break you two up: Gerard
Do they break you two up: FALSE

nyahahahaha!!! ^^ OMG! t'was ~~fun~~ funny! but wouldn't you wish this was real?!?

2006-12-21T22:39:00.001+08:00

flat tire.

nasiraan kami ng sasakyan. nabutas yung gulong. darn. kabado ang nanay ko dahil siya ang nagddrive. pero ayos lang, keri naman. hindi pa ako nakakabili ng pants dahil nagdalawang isip ako. christmas party namin bukas at medyo... hindi ako excited. for what reason? i don't know. siguro ganun talaga, hindi lang ako ang nag-iisang tao na hindi masyadong nararamdaman ang pasko. siguro kasi maraming hindi magandang nangyayari sa paligid kaya ganun at maraming taong hindi magiging masaya sa pasko.... yung mga taong nasunugan at yung mga nasalanta sa bicol. Lord, please wag nyo po silang pababayaan. guys, let's say some prayers for them this christmas, it's the best gift we can give and if you can, donate something that will be useful for them. it will really mean a lot. ^___^

2006-12-21T09:01:00.001+08:00

red stars.

made a new template still featuring my chemical romance. i think i'm becoming less amateur-ish with making layouts and with photoshop. *pats back* feel free to comment . this vacation will be so rendered. ^^

2006-12-20T20:15:00.001+08:00

gluttony.

i didn't attend the paskuhan. i was too tired to do so because i commuted my way back home earlier. and i'm still tired until now... well, not that much tired. i somehow wished i didn't go to school anymore because we didn't have classes [we almost had] but we negotiated it. we had our own christmas party... we just ate and ate and played some games, laughtrip, camwhored and did i say we ate? oh yeah. lol. i ate a lot today: i had two breakfasts. o_O and after it i still feel hungry. oh no. gluttony? no-no.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i've been watching videos at youtube again. ^^ mcr is overflowing with love. i watched a video where they are featured as the artist of the month and there was this segment called 'mcr naked' where fans get to ask them questions. there was this one girl who asked what were their jobs before becoming mcr. ray was a gas station attendant and a janitor [ frank then said: "you were a janitor?" ~XD ]. bob washed dishes and started a lawn business that failed, mikey and gerard worked in a supermarket pushing carts [ they have pushcarts pushers that handsome?!? ] haha. frank was also a gas station attendant and an assistant of some kind but the cutest part was when frank said he worked as a telemarketer... and all the other guys said: "WHOA..." <3XD

2006-12-19T20:31:00.001+08:00

santang terorista.

"... stop me from killing my annoying brother." - me.

christmas vacation will officially begin tomorrow @ 1:00PM. ~weee! *bounce* excitement galore ito. tinatamad ako mag-aral dahil gusto ko na lang talagang mag-chill. ack. ang pagppost ko sa salitang filipino ay nakakapangiba. ewan. so ayun, baka magpaskuhan ako bukas. ^^ magkikita-kita kami siguro ulit ng mga hayskul friendships. lol. ako ay sadyang masaya ulit sa araw na ito... o_O bumili na naman ako ng bag. my guilty pleasure.
black + white with skull prints = LOVE.

nagsimbang gabi ako kaninang madaling araw. --> pointless. simbang madaling araw pala dapat. kaso yung mass kagabi dun sa phase 2, yun yung mass kanina dito sa phase 1. kaya parang dalawang beses ko inulit yung mass. *tugoinks.*

nakita ko siya kanina... and he was wearing blue and he looks way too gay. yeah. pero hindi niya ako pinansin... *sniff.* dinaandaanan niya lang ako. ouch.

si santang terorista ay umatake na naman kanina sa main building at naging mga biktima niya na naman kami. effort. sheesh.
promise, mukha siyang terorista lalong lalo na sa kulay maduming-puti niyang yarn na bigote. kung kamukha niya ang real santa... hinding hindi ako magpapakabait. lolz.

2006-12-18T23:14:00.001+08:00

speak so.

C	Cool
H	Hairy
A	Ambivalent
R	Radical
M	Misunderstood
A	Ambivalent
I	Ideal
N	New
E	Emotional

2006-12-18T23:03:00.000+08:00

incinerate.

i'm a less-happy person,
detached from the outside world
rejoicing in my silence
i favor inexistence of my superficial
physical being
my eyes are tired and weary from insomnia
thoughts are playing in my mind
silent suicidal thoughts
i'm fighting from within
in this sweet war, save me
because i'm slowly giving in. [december 14. 2006 10:59am]

** a little thing i made while listening to class.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

4th day of simbang gabi : accomplished!
the mass was great, the priest was great too, he was telling stories and stuffs that you can actually relate to. ^^ my headache was persistent during the mass but goodness i survived it and still surviving it. i'm still up to study for tomorrow's exams. wish me luck!

"what will you ask for after your 9 days novena?..."

2006-12-18T19:56:00.001+08:00

nominated and happy.

I have been nominated for the Filipino Blogger of the week award. thanks to sir talksmart. i don't personally know him but heck, i feel honored having my blog being one of the nominees for the week 35. *i'm bursting in moods of happiness + excitement.* please vote for me... please? kindly vote here. maraming salamat!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my ~~heart~~ eyes and head are hurting like well... hell. i'm feeling my temples throbbing and it sucks coz' ~~i will~~, i mean I WANT go to attend mass later. ...YES, i love attending the mass. most especially when the priest's sermon is good and soul-satisfying.

the exams were a bit... ~ack. harder than i imagined. yeah, it was hard as usual and brain-draining. i've been studying last night and woke up early at 3:30 this morning just to again, study. MCR-PRS lec exam was really confusing. confusing in its entirety. i wasn't able to answer some of the fill in the blanks questions because i have no idea of the answer although i have read about it... i didn't really memorize all of it. but at least it's all over now, i can feel christmas vacation already! ^______^ *tackles anyone in sight*
we watched jonas earlier in the himig songfest and she rocked. she off tracked a bit on the high notes [her song was "bukas nalang kita mamahalin" ] but she's still good. it felt good supporting your classmate/s in such competitions plus the fact that audience impact counts. =D

it's good to be back writing again, blogging has been my life 3 or 4 years ago and i stopped because of my ever-loved studies but still, i keep coming back for it. and i guess i'm keeping it alive, at least for now. writing had been my only way of expressing my thoughts and telling my stories since i can't find a person patient enough to listen and understand to my not-so normal ideas and my unending rantings. thanks for keeping me sane. thanks for sparing a moment to read or at least visit my blog. thanks for ... just EVERYTHING. it means a lot to a distorted soul like me. ~

2006-12-17T20:22:00.000+08:00

of oranges + greens.

wakokoko! ^___^ he was wearing orange and me in green. oooooohhhh.... beloved! ~ack!

my younger sister said: "ate, ang tawag dun. CO-ACCIDENCE." lol.

EDIT: hindi parin ako tapos sa aking 'co-accidence' encounter with him. my trauma pa! haha. but most of it felt surreal. lol. *kilig mode talaga.* forgive me for the word, it sounds corny but that's what it really felt. he really is such a nice person, i didn't expect him to talk to me for at least a minute but he did. and beat that, we talked amidst the very busy crowd, the very very busy crowd. just imagining that scene gives me the goosebumps, it was like a scene in a romantic movie. harharhar.

now i have a reason to say hi to him every once in a while. ^^

2006-12-16T22:49:00.000+08:00

wishlist.

simply because it's almost christmas time and i'm feeling quite ecstatic today though with streaks of my usual laziness. i decided to start my wishlist. i don't mind having / not having them. this list is just a product of my current materialism and excessively malfunctioning imagination. all things listed here are.. well, things. i have wishes that are far more important than these and God knows what those things are.

here goes my wishlist:

~ a boyfriend..or boyfriends or a gay boyfriend would do. lol. *i don't get my point for putting it first on the list. oh heck.*
~ a psychiatrist. *i need to consult my manic-depressive states*
~ NCIS season 4 dvd. *i miss abby sciuto + gibbs*
~ a digicam + mp4 *just simply because i know i can't have an iPod video*
~ black stuffs... er.. like a black cat stuffed toy that looks like one of emily strange's cats.. o_O
~ a pair of black hi-x converse shoe with white shoelaces with pretty skeleton images on it.
~ a memory extension for my laptop. i have lots of ripping to do. *i'm sorry frank, i hate to do this too.*
~ a photoshop CS application.
~ did i mention i need a boyfriend? haha. ~~billie!~~ maging lalake ka na! lol tlga.
~ i want to see spongebob in gothic-emo style. i bet he would look dashing.
~ isang malaking poster ni emo boy ko. and when i say malaki, i mean HUGE.~

yan muna for now. don't worry, i'll add more tomorrow.

2006-12-16T13:45:00.000+08:00

crazy. no, dysfunctional.

manic. depressive. me. bipolar. needs psychiatrist. now. or i'll go crazy. i've always wanted to see a shrink just simply because i know i need to.

2006-12-16T13:30:00.001+08:00

overslept.

i woke up early today to attend the first day of simbang gabi. and i have this feeling again of full contentment... i felt like a child longing to have her favorite stuffed toy and ended up being able to get it and getting more. i'm thankful that i had my hopes up today and i didn't ignore my cellphone alarm. the mass was great and there were lots of people who attended it. ^^ after having the mass, i decided to go back to bed, not to sleep but to just chill and kill time but my eyes were like having some kind of a problem so i went to sleep.

i woke up. it's already 11:30!! omg. i really overslept and my head was aching like hell. sheesh...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i really feel that it's christmas time already. ^___^ i can't wait!! i've been watching MCR videos on you tube again this morning. and it's just maximum satisfaction for me. lol. frank, gerard and mikey are really drool-worthy. rofl. i've download already four of their videos and it's heaven on earth.. i sooo <3 them. *swoon* i'll study later for our upcoming monthly exams... then it's VACATiON already!!!!

2006-12-15T22:04:00.000+08:00

simbang gabi na mamayang madaling araw!!!

today is simply just... CRAZINESS DAY. lol. sabi ko nga, "nagawa ko sa isang araw ang magagawa ko sa isang taon."

~ i forged a signature. i admit it.
~ i did some supposedly-'art' on my shoes again. and hey, it does looks nice.
~ i laughed hard. and i mean hard that when you do it, you could actually spray out some liquid from your nostrils. wahahaha! rofl. [it's true. good thing i wasn't drinking anything when i was laughing or else...]
~ i drooled. well, i was laughing so hard when it happened! it's normal and it's not gross. i actually think it was... erm... cute. in a not-so-typical way.
~ i listened to my 'my chemical romance' playlist more than 10x today. crazy? no.
~ i sat on the corridor floor while waiting for our professor to arrive. ^__^ it was fun.
~ i had the temptation to cut classes. well, only for one subject.
~ i failed the online quiz. 11/23 and the passing score is 12. sheesh... but i don't feel bad at all.
~ i did a new render again.
~ a little boy aged 15 who was my chat mate actually asked me to be his girlfriend. WTFLOL.
~ i had a score of 8/10 on our microbial technique practical exam. the professor actually said a compliment: "you're so comfortable with that." that referring to the petri dish and the inoculating loop.
~ i watched a bunch of MCR videos on you tube.
~ we had no biostatistics today.
~ i saw b.713 today... but i only saw his back. and he was wearing a blue floral polo. *grins*
~ i miss my old friends but i will be seeing them tomorrow.
~ i saw some old friends on friendster and added them up. ack~! i even saw my former crush' friendster account!
~ i wrote a lot for my post today.
~ i'm very excited for the simbang gabi... *i can already feel the chill.*

2006-12-13T13:17:00.000+08:00

failing is something i'm not yet immune with.

F word to that biochem lab monthly exam. seriously. i'm 95% sure i'll fail it. i've only answered about 25% of it and my answers are not even sure-proof. T_T sheesh... kung kasing dali lang ng pag-ccomputer and biochem, papasa ako panigurado. si master yoda daw kasi ang gumawa ng exam... nagpa-chill2 pa ako kagabi. oh well, nangyari na yun.
i'll just hope for something good.

2006-12-12T19:10:00.000+08:00

busy week.

masyadong busy ang week na ito. kaya sa weekend nalang ako mag-uupdate!

2006-12-10T13:15:00.000+08:00

i will always be your little trigger-happy girl.

another render i made just today. because i just have nothing to do. it's obvious that it's inspired by my chemical romance --> 'my innocent romance'. ^^ it always makes me trigger-happy when i do some render photos of myself and some things while listening to them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

matsuri yesterday was a blast! ^^ cosplaying had never been that good.. most especially when you're around these exceptionally great people. to yojichan, akairo, psych, emau and dycee, ulirat, shin, sir chris, labrat and beany: kudos to you! i had happiness maximum with you guys! thanks for the moments! *glomps*. though i have to admit that i was quite grumpy yesterday, because i was dehydrated, hungry and sooo sleepy.

after matsuri, i will get rest muna from cosplaying. back to study ulit. *shrugs* o_O oh well, i will miss cosplaying but i will be back next year!! oh yeah... i will. pag-iipunan ko na ang susunod na costume! n_n

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it's been raining since this morning. i don't why or how but there is something in the drain that drains your spirit when your indoors. ironic thing is... how come when you get soaked up under the rain... it takes all the sadness and pain away.

2006-12-08T21:36:00.000+08:00

i will be your little trigger-happy girl and you will be my little emo boy.

i'm soooo excited for matsuri tomorrow! ~XD sa sobrang excited... i can't sleep and i have numerous flutterbyes in my stomach that made me feel uneasy all day.

hindi na ko nakaalis sa harap ng computer dahil sa kakahanap ng pics ng my chem. isa na akong adik, aminado ako.

OT muna:

The University of Blogging

Presents to
charmaine

An Honorary
Bachelor of
Non Sequiturs

Majoring in
Emo

Signed,
Dr. GoQuiz.com

Blogging Degree
From Go-Quiz.com

wow. majoring in emo. how on earth did this generator know?!?

i'm watching mcr videos in youtube... and i have a new favorite! it's 'i'm not okay (i promise)'. the video is LOVE. uber. hihihi. si little emo boy kow!!!! roflol.

What did My Chemical Romance think of you? (Girls Only) by Nikkou
Whats your name?
Age?
Gender?
fav rocker?
Mikey thinks....	I can't believe i had a boner of her last night...
Gerard....	Jumps on you then won't let go...
Bob did....	He didn't talk to you at all...
Frank....	Loves you and wants to marry you!
Ray thinks....	I hope she doesn't notice im blushing...